Sorry, Cinderelly
By Cariahnna Collazo-Cintron
I would be the princess I had always dreamed of, starting a new chapter with my princess
Growing up I always dreamed of the day that I would get engaged and start planning my perfectly magical wedding. Although my idea of what a perfectly magical wedding is has changed over the years, thankfully along with my sense of style, one thing has remained the same—the vibes need to be immaculate. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve scrapped posts from my wedding Pinterest to keep the aesthetics up to date for when the time came.
I’ve found myself religiously following #WeddingTok and taking stock of the trends, in preparation for my wedding. By the time I got engaged, I felt ready to plan. I had been preparing for this moment for years and felt that would make things so much easier. But, the one thing I wasn’t really prepared for was all of the lows that are associated with wedding planning.
Yes, I was prepared to choose napkin colors, flowers, cake flavors, decor, venues, and all the fun stuff, but I wasn’t prepared for one reality check after another every time that I looked into pricing for each of these things. Initially, my fiancée and I had said that we would do a small wedding and as I began to plan for that I realized that no matter how few people we invited, the ambiance that I wanted to create was not going to be cheap. I knew going in that weddings were not cheap, but with each price quote, my heart would sink a bit lower, ultimately leaving me feeling like I wanted to give up planning altogether. Something that I was looking so forward to doing was quickly becoming something that I wanted nothing to do with.
Photos by Pexels
While some may say that I am focusing on the wrong thing and that marrying my person is what is most important, I argue that I will be married to them regardless and my wedding has nothing to do with my marriage. To me, a wedding is a celebration of marriage, not the marriage itself. Just like a birthday party is a celebration of someone’s birthday, not the birthday itself. I have always dreamed of celebrating my marriage in a certain way. Coming to terms with that I may not be able to is pretty sad.
I didn’t grow up extremely fortunate or surrounded by tons of material things. Growing up, I imagined my wedding day to be filled with all the splendor that I had wished for all along. I would be an adult with the money and freedom to create a memory that would challenge all fairytales. I would be the princess I had always dreamed of, starting a new chapter with my princess. And I would still love to experience that. But this process has taught me that I need to see life for what it truly is. My fiancée and I are trying our best to create our wedding vision on a budget, but it’s not always easy.
Unfortunately, the wedding industry is ridden with capitalists that thrive on monetizing others’ dreams. While I see major value in the work that vendors provide, I have come to realize that a lot of them are predatory and will price gouge when they know you want to hire them for a wedding rather than other types of events. I’ve come to view many of them as my evil stepmother stomping on my dreams of attending the ball. I tell myself, “Sorry Cinderelly, you can’t afford that.” Thankfully, I know that I will still have my happy ending—even if that means that my fiancée and I have to roll with the punches as we navigate planning a budget-friendly wedding in the Big Apple. One way or another, me and my princess will have our magical ball. Q
Cariahnna Collazo-Cintron (She/Her) is a NuyoRican neurodivergent activist who aspires to become a social worker and pursue a career in non-profit management. She is a licensed Esthetician, mid-sized model, and self-proclaimed Maxxinista who loves to cook, dance, browse metaphysical shops with her fiancé Kennedy, or go for strolls with their two dogs, Khaleesi and Rhaego. "Join me as I peel back the layers of my life in search of the woman I am destined to become—forging my path and mending the cracks, one story at a time.” Follow her at www.instagram.com/gor.gyna