Written by Karen Williams. It’s that time of the year when codependents rejoice, families freak out and the only real victors appear to be in retail. Whether we like or dislike this time of year, it is inevitable that some issues will surface, and you may stumble upon your own self-doubt. After all, the “holidaze” don’t come with a handbook, though they should.

Since the launch of my latest career as a motivational speaker, I am experiencing a great deal of success based upon my handbook entitled Karen Williams’ Caring for Self Handbook of Axioms, Idioms & Common-Sense Tips. (Williams gained notoriety as the first openly gay Black comedian, and was featured in the 2003 documentary Laughing Matters alongside friends and fellow lesbian comedians Marga Gomez, Kate Clinton, and Suzanne Westenhoefer. She has spent much of her career finding a way to blend comedy with healing and activism).

I use this handbook as a guideline for my talks as well as during my workshops on “The Healing Power of Humor” and “Humor and Stress Management in the Workplace.” I feel that it is very important to exercise self-care, particularly for care-givers and those in healing professions. Thus, I offer two chapters of my handbook to help you get through the dazzle and daze of the upcoming weeks. Keep in mind that the most important person throughout the season is you! Here’s hoping that these simple suggestions make a difference in your holiday experience. Peace and Love…

Positive Living:

• Speak Up, Speak Out, Laugh Often.

• Words are golden. Words are our currency. Go for broke.

• Silence is quicksilver. Catch it when you can.

• Listen with your heart. Keep it open like your ears.

• Live honestly, openly and without regret.

• Practice thinking positive thoughts.

• Practice speaking positive words.

• Practice taking positive action.

• Practice having your thoughts and words match your actions.

• Trust your intuition. Use it!

• Study people. Read books.

• Exercise your mind and your body will follow.

• Don’t depend on anyone. Be dependable!

• Learn to play the instrument you always wanted to play.

• Sing!

• Laugh a lot. See the humor in all things. Giggle.

• Laugh ‘til you cry.

• Tune into your own biorhythm. Follow it.

Let Your Spirit Soar:

• Look within for your self. It’s there waiting for some attention.

• Pray, chant, meditate, sit quietly, reflect, contemplate.

• Let go and let yourself heal.

• Rediscover grace.

• Love yourself in a different way today.

• Pay attention to the part of you that needs love.

• Remind yourself that you have a right to be happy.

• You are worthy of respect.

• Affirm YOU! Make up affirmations just for you.

• Put them where you can see them every day.

• Repeat them often. Make up new ones.

• Example: I am kind, loving, creative, confident, empathic, intuitive, wise, capable, intelligent, beautiful, warm, nurturing, responsible, sensual, and free.

Well, enough about me! Make up your own, write your lines below:

Self-Care:

• Take a long walk…alone.

• Let the earth’s strength enter through your soles.

• Talk to the spirits of the oceans, the seas, the rivers and the mountains.

• Wash your soul in the river of your own tears.

• Bathe your heart in the warmth of hugs, from anyone.

• Trust your friends wholly or get some new ones that you can.

• Friendship is platinum.

• Always think the best first.

• Love everyone you can.

• Love with your whole self.

• Respect yourself. Respect everyone.

• Rest. Sleep. Nap. Tune out, turn in.

• Put your feet up, lay your head down. 

• S-L-E-E-P!

• Write every day. Write a poem. Write a letter.

• Write your lover. Write your goals.

• Remember your dreams are your reality.

• Pray for all your dreams to come true.

—Karen Williams

Karen is chanting “Nam-myoho-renge-kyo” for world peace. She will also star in the comedy show Karen Williams Live on December 18th at Palm Springs Cultural Center at the Historic Camelot Theater, 2300 E. Baristo Rd., in Palm Springs, CA 92262. Tickets are $35-50 at paypalme/hahainstitute, cash app: $KWILLIAM89 or via Venmo @Karen-Williams-114. They will also be available at the door for $40. For more information, visit www.sgi-usa.org or contact her at karenwilliamscomic@gmail.com