Embracing Self-Care: 9 Essential Mental Hygiene Habits for the LGBTQIA+ Community
(Self) Love is Love
It’s hard out here for a queer. There’s so much going on in the world, both good and bad (though lately it’s been mostly feeling bad, ngl.) While we’re very fortunate to live in an era where technology can connect us like never before, it can be, as my ex often said about me, “a bit much”.
Folx, if you’re looking for a sign to take better care of yourself, this is it. You can’t pour from an empty cup. You can’t give 100% of yourself to everyone and every cause. You have to be there for you.
Mental hygiene, just like physical hygiene, is crucial to our overall well-being. As members of the LGBTQIA+ community, it's especially important to prioritize our mental health, given the unique challenges and stressors we might face. Here are nine essential mental hygiene habits from queer people, for queer people.
Establish A Routine
It can be difficult to see the chaos we live in. You get so used to doing things a certain way, that you don’t take the time to stop and think critically about your habits or your schedule. Are you living within self-imposed rules? Are you more concerned with how other people live than how you live? Do you often find yourself struggling to get everything done in a day, or even remember what you need to do in the first place?
Creating a daily routine provides structure and a sense of stability in our lives. This includes establishing regular mealtimes, exercise schedules, and sleep patterns. Consistency in our daily activities helps reduce stress and anxiety, making it easier to navigate daily challenges.
Design your routine around activities that promote well-being and help you maintain a positive mindset, such as morning affirmations or evening gratitude journaling. Even something as simple as a morning routine can do wonders for your mental health.
2. Practice Mindfulness
Ah, mindfulness. The self-care buzzword of our era. What exactly do we mean when we encourage someone to “practice mindfulness”? Put simply, mindfulness is the practice of, well, being mindful. It involves staying present and acknowledging your emotions—free of judgment or outside perspective(s). Practicing mindfulness can also include contemplation and expression of gratitude.
How you go about being mindful is entirely up to you. For some, meditation—both passive and active—is their preferred mindfulness method. Those who prefer to get their sweat on might focus on a daily Yoga practice, or short walks. Whatever you do, just make sure to stay present and focused on YOU.
Incorporating mindfulness practices, such as meditation, deep breathing, or journaling, can help us stay present and connected to our emotions. These practices can also reduce stress, increase self-awareness, and foster emotional resilience. Set aside time each day to focus on your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Explore different mindfulness techniques to find one that resonates with you and aligns with your lifestyle.
3. Seek Support
This is a huge one for LGBTQIA+ folx, and sometimes the hardest habit to establish. Being queer can feel incredibly isolating, and—unfortunately—often dangerous. But we’re not here to remind you of how awful the world can be. We’re here to remind you of just how important you are, and how critical it is that you take care of yourself.
Two of the biggest social challenges we queer folx deal with are finding safe romantic and familial connections. For many in our community, a complicated relationship with our parents is a given. If this describes you, know that you are not alone. You are not bad for being Queer. You have not harmed your family by being your true self. You cannot change the way people think or act—you can inspire them to change, but they have to do the work. As a queer adult, one of the healthiest things you can do for your mental health is acknowledge that your parents have their own traumas that occurred before you were even an idea, and that they have to deal with those traumas themselves.
And if you have found yourself wanting for things that your parents would not provide you—safety, necessities, comfort, etc—you need to provide YOURSELF with those things. Seeking them from others will only create tension in your life. Your true healing will come from parenting yourself. Loving yourself. If you can do that, you can break the cycle.
As for romantic relationships, LGBTQIA+ people experience statistically disproportionate abuse. It makes sense when you think about how hard so many of us struggle with loving ourselves; when you constantly feel like you are “wrong” for being who you are, you’ll accept just about any scrap of “love” someone will throw your way.
Folx, you deserve better than that. You deserve the real deal, the love that is unconditional and faithful. Communication is everything in a relationship, and if you’re uncomfortable expressing your feelings and setting boundaries with your partner(s), that should be a red flag that something about your relationship is not as healthy as it could be.
Those kinds of realizations can be so painful, and it’s easy enough to deny your own concerns and continue as you have been. Only you know what is right for you and your life. If you are struggling to make sense of your romantic relationship(s), consider this thought exercise;
Who is your dearest friend (outside of your relationship)? How does this friend treat you? Do they listen to you? Do they care for you when you need help or comfort? Think about this loving friend in your life, and ask yourself the most important question: do your friends treat you better than your partner?
Building a strong support network is crucial for mental well-being. Reach out to friends, family, or join LGBTQIA+ support groups to share your experiences and connect with others who understand your unique challenges. Lean on your support network during difficult times and celebrate achievements together. If you're unsure where to find support, consider joining online forums, local clubs, or attending LGBTQIA+ events.
4. Prioritize Self-Compassion
The words you speak become the house you live in. Be kind to yourself and recognize that everyone faces struggles and setbacks. Practice self-compassion by treating yourself with the same understanding and kindness you would offer to a loved one. If you heard someone treat one of your loved ones the way you treat yourself, what would you do? If you witnessed someone speaking to a child the way you speak to yourself, would you intervene? When you encounter challenges, remind yourself of your strengths and accomplishments, and avoid self-blame or harsh self-criticism. Incorporate self-care practices that nurture your emotional well-being, such as taking time for hobbies or engaging in activities that bring you joy.
5. Stay Active
Physical activity has a significant impact on mental health. That being said, you don’t have to become a bodybuilder to experience the benefits of an active lifestyle. Engage in regular exercise or physical activities you enjoy, such as walking, dancing, or yoga, to boost your mood and relieve stress.
Aim for at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic activity or 75 minutes of vigorous-intensity aerobic activity per week, along with muscle-strengthening activities on two or more days per week. Remember that any movement counts, and finding activities you enjoy is key to maintaining an active lifestyle. And if you get to wear a cute outfit while you do it, even better (in this house, we stan athleisure wear)!
6. Set Boundaries
With the rise of social media and smartphones, it’s getting harder for many people to set boundaries—which means it’s getting more important to do so.
Put your phone down (after you finish this article, of course) from time-to-time. Take a break from the endless scroll of social media. Let the occasional call go to voicemail, and actually give yourself time to answer non-urgent messages. The only people who are entitled to your time are your kids (if you have any, otherwise it’s your world, boo).
Establishing healthy boundaries is essential for self-care. Know your limits, and communicate them to others. Protect your time and energy by saying "no" when necessary and prioritizing your well-being. Learn to recognize when you need to step back from situations or relationships that are draining or toxic. Setting boundaries not only helps preserve your mental health but also fosters respectful and balanced relationships with others.
7. Nourish Your Body
Listen, we’re all for a weekly brunch and the occasional “fun” drink, but you’ve got to be mindful (there’s that word again) about what you put in your body. A balanced diet plays a vital role in not just your physical health, but your mental health as well. Prioritize nutrient-rich foods, stay hydrated, and pay attention to how your body responds to different foods.
Proper nutrition can help improve mood, energy levels, and cognitive function. Focus on incorporating whole foods, such as fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats, into your meals. Consider seeking guidance from a registered dietitian or nutritionist to create a tailored eating plan that supports your mental health and overall well-being. Also, go grab a glass of water while you’re thinking about it. We’ll wait.
8. Develop Healthy Sleep Habits
Are you back from your water break? Good. Sleep: the temperamental bitch that rules over us all. Quality sleep is crucial for your health, and for most of us, it’s the area of our lives that needs the most TLC. What can we say? When TikTok calls, we answer—and then it’s somehow 3 AM.
Luckily, there are plenty of small things you can do to help improve your sleep. Aim for 7-9 hours of sleep each night and establish a relaxing bedtime routine to promote restful sleep. Avoid excessive caffeine, alcohol, and screen time before bed, as these can interfere with your sleep quality (as my doctor recently told me, “Save your bed for sleep and sex”). Create a sleep-conducive environment by keeping your bedroom cool, dark, and quiet.
Prioritizing sleep not only helps improve mood and cognitive function but also supports overall physical health and well-being. It can even improve your skin—thank goodness.
9. Seek Professional Help
My friends, if you find yourself constantly struggling with your mental health, don't hesitate to seek professional help. Mental health professionals, such as therapists or counselors, can provide valuable support and guidance tailored to your unique needs.
Therapy can help you develop coping strategies, gain insights into your thoughts and feelings, and work through challenges in a supportive and non-judgmental environment. Remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness, and can be a transformative step in your journey toward mental wellness.
Bonus: Buy Yourself Flowers, Hold Your Own Hand
(Yes, we are going to end this with a Miley Cyrus reference—it’s called self-care, hunty.)
Remember that self-care is an ongoing process, and it's essential to be patient with yourself as you incorporate these habits into your life. Prioritizing mental health is a vital step towards living balanced and fulfilled. We hope that these habits and insights can help you navigate the unique challenges faced by our community. As always, reach out to us on our socials if you ever need an extra shoulder to lean on.
It takes a village. Q