From Me to You, With Love
As I walked around the store, stopping to inspect each item that caught my eye, I could feel my shopping trip coming to an end. At this point, I had made my laps around each aisle, some more than once, and felt like I had picked up everything that I had seriously considered buying. Now, the items would fight to their deaths and only those who truly won over my heart would make it home with me. The elimination round was about to commence. I began picking things up from inside my cart and giving them a twice-over. Are you worthy? An important part of the inspection round was determining if the item would be for me to keep or if I had picked it up for someone else. Generally, the items that I pick up for others are keepers. If there’s one thing that I love more than shopping for myself, its shopping for my loved ones.
I had already finished my Christmas shopping, or so I had told myself prior to entering the store, thinking that it would save me from buying more gifts. The lie detector determined I was not telling the truth. Originally entering the store with the intention of buying a few gift bags and some tissue paper, I had accumulated a nearly full cart of items, most of which would not be for me. As I looked around at the items I had picked up, I grew with excitement thinking about the reactions of my friends and family as they opened their gifts. Their anticipated smiles and their appreciation made it worth it. I began looking at the few items that I had grabbed for myself and kept the ones that I felt I really wanted, after all, my “for sure” pile had quickly grown as I determined that the gifts would surely be purchased. I walked to the register with a full heart, extremely excited to get home and put all of the items in their gift bags. This was a successful shopping trip.
I take pride in the gifts that I buy for people and seldom encounter a gift that the recipient did not enjoy. I never quite understood how people could be “bad” at giving gifts. It has nothing to do with money–I firmly believe that. Whenever I spend time with my friends, or anyone really, and they express that they like something my brain makes an automatic mental note. And, from that point forward, whenever I see that thing that that person mentioned to me I think of them. As I go through my day-to-day, constantly being reminded of different people for different things that I associate with them, I think of that person and just get the urge to share that with them.
“Any opportunity that I have to give someone a gift really excites me because I get to express how much they matter and are seen.”
This is my love language. I love to show people that they matter to me or simply that I am thinking of them with small tokens that commemorate that thought. I admit, it’s not the most sustainable love language when you aren’t wealthy, but if I can’t afford to buy something for the person at that moment I will usually end up taking a photo of the item and sending it to the person with a small note. It’s a very in-the-moment experience for me, although at times I will just make a mental note about the item and return if I can at a later date.
As someone that is extremely giving year-round, I can admit that it’s been challenging at times to have friendships or even relationships with people who were different. While I never give a gift with the intention or expectation of receiving one in exchange, because gift-giving comes so naturally to me if I notice that someone never reciprocates it makes me feel like they aren’t really thinking of me or that I don’t matter to them. I’ve come to accept that most people are not like me in the way that I view gifts and the sentimentality behind them, so I am not so surprised anymore when I find myself as the “primary giver,” but I won’t lie, it does hurt my feelings when someone says something like “I have no idea what to get you,” because to me that just means that you don’t really pay attention to me.
Regardless, any opportunity that I have to give someone a gift really excites me because I get to express how much they matter and are seen, whether we are close or not. Because of this, Christmas is truly the most magical day of the year for me. Whether the gift is handmade, cheap, expensive, or even regifted, if I can tell that there was thought put into it, it truly means the world to me. So, I hope that the next time you are out in the world you take a moment to look around you and see the ones you love in all of the things that surround you–because I promise you, they are there. Q
